Easing Parent Guilt: A Roadmap to Successful Sleep Training
By Sarah Healy, MA
We’re excited to feature Sarah Healy, MA as our guest blogger this month. Sarah is a Certified Infant Sleep Consultant, parent coach, and mother of two with over 20 years of experience in infant and child development. She shares evidence-based insights to help families navigate sleep challenges with confidence and ease.
Want to learn more directly from Sarah?
Join her Foundations for Baby Sleep Workshop
Sunday, March 1, 2026 | 11:00am–1:00pm at Metta Yoga San Rafael
This 2-hour class will cover realistic sleep expectations, routines, and practical strategies for babies 0–12 months. Details and registration here: Sleep Foundations Workshop.
Easing Parent Guilt: A Roadmap to Successful Sleep Training
Are you feeling torn between the desire for your family to sleep better and the fear of letting your baby cry during sleep training? You are not alone. Parental guilt can often cloud the path to successful sleep training.
With that in mind, I’ve created a step-by-step guide to help you prepare for sleep training while addressing and easing those feelings of guilt or inner conflict. The goal is to help you move forward with confidence and create a plan that aligns with your family’s unique needs.
The “Ghosts in the Nursery”
Sleep training isn’t just about helping your baby sleep better. It’s also about ensuring you’re emotionally ready for the process.
Our past experiences, childhood, and upbringing can cast long shadows on our parenting decisions. We refer to these as “ghosts in the nursery.” Many books and courses overlook this essential aspect, but it’s a critical piece of success.
Recently, a mother shared that her own mother left when she was just two years old. Because of that experience, she feared sleep training would make her daughter feel “abandoned.” By acknowledging those feelings and honoring her need to be present during her baby’s crying, we found a plan that allowed her to trust the process. Her daughter learned to sleep, and the mother felt secure in her approach.
Parental Readiness Matters
Readiness and trust are vital for the success of any sleep training method. Babies can sense uncertainty or lack of confidence from their parents. It’s essential that both parents feel prepared and trusting before beginning sleep changes.
Are You Really Ready?
Here are some ways to prepare yourself for sleep training:
Visualize the Night
Decide exactly how you want the night to unfold, including where your baby will sleep and for how long.Write a Real-Time Description
Describe the process as if it’s happening in the moment. Focus on how you and your baby will feel and the reassurance and comfort you’ll provide.Confront Your Fears
Write down your fears, concerns, and doubts. Create a plan for how you will respond if those feelings arise.Write a Letter to Yourself
Outline what you want to remember, why you sought help, and your vision for peaceful sleep.Write a Letter to Your Baby
Share your love and intentions as they begin this journey.
Creating a sleep plan is not one-size-fits-all. It involves considering your baby’s readiness, development, and health, as well as your own emotional well-being. By acknowledging the “ghosts” from the past and preparing thoughtfully, you can guide your baby toward restful sleep while nurturing your own peace of mind.
About Sarah:
Hi, I’m Sarah Healy—Pediatric Sleep Specialist.
As a mother of two, I quickly learned that sleep is influenced by many factors, and there is not one right way to help a baby sleep. Both of my daughters had unique temperaments and challenges, and I learned firsthand that newborns are complex and parenting in a world of information overload can feel overwhelming.
Today, I partner with parents to create tailored, evidence-based sleep plans. I co-create strategies that take into account each family’s unique circumstances, including parenting philosophy, infant temperament, age, development, weight gain, health, and more.
To date, I have helped over 2,000 families find more restful nights.